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Saturday, April 5, 2008

Critique - Bar

This one is almost done to me. There are only little things that I would change.

First, that little head move at x74 feels too poppy. Yes, she's surprised, but to me it feels more like how your head would react when something came towards you very quickly. I'm exaggerating, it's not that big, but the feel of that is there. Soften that part and see how it looks. My guess it will be more of a confused-to-realizing motion (if that makes sense).

Little thing, check the fingers on her right hand at x92, make sure they don't go through the table geometry.

The detail work is nice, the earring, the hair, etc. I really like how the hand goes through the hair for readjustment, that's really well done. I also love the finger pose of her right hand at the very end. :)

Now this part could purely subjective and just a matter of direction, so totally up to you.
What is a bit weird to me is her look at the very end. That wide eyed look is almost freaky. I would go for a more seductive look. But that could make her look too fake? First she's disappointed that no one is talking to her and when there is some one, instead of being genuinely happy, she puts on that game face. Right now you have her look REALLY happy, so maybe it's just a matter of lowering the upper eye lids a bit. But what about this:
instead of having her look at the person at around x137, stay with the look to the glass (like x122). Keep the eyes there and then close them around x143 instead of x154. Keep them closed and keep what you have, except at for the end where the eye lids really open up. Keep it more like x188, even lower, make it really seductive.
But again, this could be a different character that you don't want to give her, so that's up to you.

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