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Saturday, March 10, 2007

Critique - Tongue (Joey)

Direct Link: Joey's Tongue

Sweet! A few things:

I would make the ball bounce away further screen left. Sorry for not mentioning that earlier. I think it would add to the tension if you would let the ball "almost" escape. So have the ball almost reach the screen left frame. Don't extend the block, extend the tongue.
I would also make the tongue swallow zipping back movement more complex.

How about this? Break up the bounce distance of the ball. So after his jumps down from the block, he can only do little bounces, because he's just fell from a high place, so he's weak and scared and then starts bouncing away and gaining ground more and more, making the audience believe that he will escape. Then right as he is about to exit frame the tongue snatches the ball. Now, instead of going back straight like you have it now, it would form that S curve (see picture) and at the end go into the rotation that you have (start coloring your tongue, the ball, etc. so it's not all grey).

In terms of animation there are a few things as well. The snatch: from 245 to 246 you have the ball touch the tongue (tongue already bent). Have the tongue go down in front of the ball (cutting him off), then have the ball jump into the tongue. From 246 to 247 there is a slight movement screen left and then to 248 a huge jump screen right. That could be more fluid, with the ball stretching/pushing the tongue more screen left when it gets grabbed. As you roll back the tongue now to frame 250 you have pretty much nothing moving til 253, I would keep it going, keep it fluid. The spiral swallow down is cool, but a bit hard to heard that it's twisting, due to spacing from frame 262 to 263. Also coloring the tongue will make it read better that it is twisting.

As it is swallowing I would close the eyelids a little, then when it's done, look down while opening them again, and have a mouth appear with a smile. :-) Or something like that. You just need an ending to all of it, not just a swallow. With some reaction by the monster, you give the whole meaning a little bit of meaning.

Hope all that makes sense. Cheers!

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