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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Critique - Cowboy

I would do another pass on his upper body as he takes the steps. There are a few moments where the upper body moves as one unit. For instance from x121 to x124, you have the body rotate towards the left, then stop. Same with the stop at x214. The chest part could be delayed a bit at x200 as he moves screen left. These are the major areas that need more fluid transitions.
I would also make the drops a bit less broad but also delay them a bit, they feel like they happen when the foot plants, as opposed to a bit later. You also have a strong down and the sideways, I would mesh them together more, so it's one fluid motion of down and to the side.
There is something about the screen left arm out like that. I would give it a try with his elbow more tucked in. Take x232 for instance, there's just something awkward about that (besides his fingers). Keep it more like x90.
That way the arm/elbow has somewhere to go during the pull on x266+
Or look at x240 to x260, it's weird to see the screen right part move (arm and shoulders, etc.), while the screen left arm is stuck out there with only his fingers moving. At the end of that only his right lower arm is moving, that's too isolated as well, it would affect the upper part of the arm as well.
The pull at x262 is very jerky and everything moves at the same time. His right arm jerks down as well at x264. During that draw his fingers would probably move first, then his wrist, his arm, shoulder, etc. The arm also stops very abruptly at x266, it needs to continue that momentum and have the fumble closer to the gun, right now it looks like he's tickling the gun.
The arm/gun movement is way too big from x284 to x285, give it more time. The hit is also too fast, happening over two frames til x287. Have the shoulder move back first, then the chest and don't move the upper body as one unit. During that hit his head will drag and not move with the body.
LOVE THE BLOOD! I know, sounds very violent, but it's cool detail with the drops!! The gun dangle and drop is great!
His upper body moves as one unit again from x350 to x360 (his hips would go first with his upper body rotated back and following). Also, during that move, the screen left knee goes in, so I would rotate the foot in as well. You're doing a footroll, which is good, but tilt it to the side as well, just like the other foot during the x387 part.
Delay his head a bit during x390 to x394 (moves as one unit again).
The head up movement from x405 to x420 is a bit too contained to the lower head controller and it's also a bit slow. Vary the timing a bit so that your curve is not so linear and add a bit of upper chest rotation to it.
x437 to x455 his arms move up at the same timing (speed is the same), break that up a bit (you could add some shakiness to one of them).
The fall is fantastic! What you need to do during that part is lock the screen left arm to the ground around x520. Also offset the arm-out movement at x490, both arms start at the same time. I would delay the screen left arm so that when he lands, the screen right arm hits the ground first. Add some finger detail on the impact as well, they are very locked during that part.
The legs' timing is great during the hits, but you need to offset them as well. In order to not screw up your timing, grab all the leg/knee/foot controller keys at x493 and then move them for about 4 or 5 frames to the right, that way the leg starts later but you didn't change any of the timing afterwards which is great.

Nice job! Almost done!


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