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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Critique - Daddy's home

First off, I apologize for this part, I should have mentioned it when I first saw the clip with the girl in it. Right now, the framing is off. Frame 1 has better framing illustrated (the major points of the critique are drawn onto the movie in a very artistic way btw.). This way the kid's legs are not cut off. So I would move the camera down. I also moved the girl more to the left. That way, when she walks to the door, there is a clearer path of A to B then what you have now. If you had just the silhouette of the girl, there wouldn't be that much of a change from when she's sitting to when she's standing. So, she plays with the horse, light goes on (have it in the blocking so that the idea is clear - every idea needs to be in the blocking). She then gets up and walks towards the door and ends up where you have her. When the dad opens the door, have her react to it and take a few steps to the right, otherwise both characters' silhouette overlaps. So give the dad some room by having her more screen left, especially when he pushes her (next drawing). Her landing point also needs to be more screen right, again for clearer composition.When the dad kicks the bookshelf you can use that moment to break a little piece of the wooden part (have the bookshelf jiggle a bit), that way it's a bit more plausible that the whole shelf falls down when he holds on to it (yes, you could argue that the wooden piece is of really crappy quality by breaking off that easily but hey, maybe the dad is a cheap bastard).



Jefffffffff said...

HA! Didn't i say that the position of the girl should be changed?! I knew it~ Anyway, the piece is really getting better. It's much more clearer.

Jean-Denis Haas said...

I don't know, you're talking about Halo 3 all time, so I wouldn't know. ;)

jefffffffffffff said...