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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Critique - Ruckus (dialogue)

During the "I hear no ruckus" part the kids' lipsynch is a bit poppy. Make sure you don't have huge shape shifts happening over one frame.
the kids left hand is all swimmy and floaty during "can you describe...". It goes off the keyboard into that half-fist-index-finger-pointing-up pose.
There's some detail stuff (like the PSP going through his hand), but I need a frame counter for that.

his tie is too stiff. Look at the frame after he came in and he's looking screen right with his hand to his mouth. The tie is angled towards his crotch. It would hang straight down at this point. Wear a tie, film yourself and watch what it is doing. It also goes through his chest at one point.
The index finger should be higher up during "you better watch your tongue young man" (nicer silhouette - during the first half of the gesturing).
Now, I don't know if it is the player at work, but the sound seemed off at the beginning. From the beginning to "I was just in my office I heard a ruckus." the lip sync is off, except for the two "ruckus". After that it seems a frame or two early as well.
When he points behind him with his index down (after "in my office, I heard a ruckus"), after that, when he puts his arm down, you have his index still stiff. I mentioned that a couple of times, you need to curve the finger as he lowers his arm. He's relaxing his hand and fingers and having the index finger so straight the whole time looks awkward.
Careful when you put his left hand into the his pants pocket. It's okay to let the thumb disappear (you could show a pocket bulge, that would be even better, so that people see it's a pocket, not just geometry penetration), but at one point you curl his fingers into the pants as well. The way they disappear looks like a mistake on your side, people might think that you forgot to fix that part.
His very last expression should be angrier. More like "watch your tongue you man".

Other than that, nicely done.


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