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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Critique - Walk and monkey

Alright, let's start with the walk:

- looks good, the fixes work pretty well, but there are some new issues. Sideview: look at her left arm, the swing slows down at the end of the loop and then accelerates as the shot starts, keep that momentum without this hiccup (check your curves from an earlier version, there was a tiny slowdown but it wasn't as poppy as this one).
- Sideview: head needs more nose up/down. Her whole upper body seems a lot stiffer compared to the front view. Definitely add some head overlap in there. If that doesn't help the overall feel, you can try to add some chest overlap (that might take the "snobby" feel out of the walk, but give it a shot).
- you fixed the "head hitting a wall" thing, but only on one side, watch how the head goes to the left til x12 and then stops

- something that's still in there is how the arms swing back (frontview). The forward and backward swing follows the same path, lower the arms after the front swing ends. So if you look at the screen left arm, it goes up til x4, then goes back the same way. Add a nicer arc where the arms goes down after the swing (both sides of course). Check drawing for what I mean (arc is exaggerated to make it clear).

That's it!

Now the monkey:

I can kinda guess what's going on, but guessing should never be required when looking at blocking, make sure that all your ideas are clearly in the blocking.
So the gun comes out and shoots his hand/finger, that's why he's waving it at the end?
The gun is not moving at all (after it settles), so you have to assume that it is not doing anything (ideas are not clear). If it is shooting, it needs to be visible. Right now you have to assume that the point of this clip is to attract the monkey to the bananas so that he can get shot. Hmm... a bit macabre. Why does he get shot for, just for picking up food? Is the gun shooting bullets, or darts or water or electricity (or whatever)?
If this experiment has been going on for a while, then it needs to be clear in the monkey's acting and how the set looks like. If not, then he's completely clueless and the set is clean.
Are scientists close by? Maybe in a window in the back or as a blurry black silhouette in front? Where is the floor, is it really high up?

Flesh out the story of the clip a bit more.


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