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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Critique - Toilet









Hmm... a few things stick out. Toilet humor and Bill Paxton from "Aliens". I would keep it a bit classier and also less overacted. Your gestures are very big. I would take out the audio, then never lower the camera. Have it all in his face. The look down realizing that the paper is gone, the look around to see if there is anything else he could use (maybe have him grab something off screen and bring into screen, like a plant leave and other "paper" like things). Then at the end he picks up the empty toilet paper roll and that's when the audience understands what's really going on. But I think bringing different objects into frame would be funny and a tease for the audience (they'd be thinking "What is he doing?!) until the payoff at the end.

Cheers
JD

3 comments:

Chintan Shah said...

Hello sir,

Thanks a lot for your comments. Will surely work on the ideas you suggested, the objective of this assignment was Lip-sync and acting. So thats why i used the sound clip, what you have suggested is a very cool idea for a pantomime. Or maybe i can integrate a little bit of both, like when he searches for other options (like plant-leave etc)... and finds nothing useful then he starts to panic and starts off with the dialog and then we have to payoff in the end. What do u think sir, ?

Besides this, how can i improve the entire animation, plus if there are any technical issues with it. ?

Thanks a lot for your help & also for posting it here on the blog, it came in as a big surprise :D.

Cheers,
Chintan

Jean-Denis Haas said...

I would not use the sound clip at all because to me it just screams Bill Paxton, but maybe that's just me.

If you mind having your clip online here I can take it down, no problem!

Chintan Shah said...

no please dont take the clip down, i am really glad that you put it up here.

Thanks :D

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