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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Critique - Bowling


first off, I would start with the other guys' hands off screen or at least have them come into frame, then push the guy. The reason is, I always watched it with the first frame visible, then clicked play, etc. so you see the hands and you know what's going on, but when I play it at work the clip just shows up and plays and then that action gets lost quickly. Think about if you have that clip on your reel after another one, people won't look at frame 1 for a few seconds.
After that, you have him stumble forward and kinda look around, but what is he doing? Is he checking out the bowling field or is he trying to look back? I would have him look back at the guys with a "Why are you doing this to me?" look on his face.
The walk towards the bowling balls feels weird, especially with that double step thingie at x65. It feels like he's on a cliff and slipping away. You're also overextending his legs a lot from the beginning til here. Frame 1 already his legs are totally straight, then the right one snaps into a bent position on x3 and moves until x5, stops moving while the body continues and gives you an overextended left leg at x8. x47 has another left leg overextension, same at x65. Overall those steps towards the ball are very awkward. Avoid sudden and separate movements with the body and the legs.
Around x111, as he picks up the ball he takes a little step. I would wait with that. Since the ball is so heavy, he needs all the stability and leg pushing he can get in order to pick up the ball. Taking a step won't help him. Plus the step gets a bit floaty towards the end.
From x124 to x135 his right leg takes a big slow step, plus his left leg is sliding forward. On top of that the ball goes from the edge of the ball-holder-thingie down towards his knees in a very linear and diagonal way. Imagine the ball is way too heavy for you and rolls over the edge of that holder-thingie. Gravity will pull the ball straight down and pull his hands with it. He then holds on to it tighter and the ball and his arms will swing back towards his legs. That's what the motion should be. Right now it's too soft and too slow. You also go from pose to pose with the ball and his body stopping at x133. The momentum and gravity would have the ball/arms swing back between his legs a bit, not hitting a wall type of thing.
From x105 til x202 or so, his head looks very looked, there is no drag no overlap, no leading, no strain, no nothing, so loosen it up. Grab something heavy and act it out, I doubt your head would move like that.
x213 you're overextending his right leg. Look at x210 til x245, his upper body, head, arms and ball move down and up as one unit, which makes it very robotic and there is not weight to it. Again, act it out, see how your body and arms are adjusting to lifting something heavy and how you get ready for a swing. His arms stay in that 90 degree pose til x340 or so, which is too stiff. You're also overextending your leg at x339. Unless you think that this is okay, you should not have those overextensions in your clip. If you see something that looks wrong, then fix it before you present it. And again, act it out so you get a feel of what the motions are. Take frame 339 for instance. His pose is very awkward. Grab something very heavy and then stand exactly how he is. You'll quickly realize that it is not right.
When he starts the swing, his right arm lets go off the ball at x343 and x344. If you're holding something heavy with both hands and you take one hand away, the other hand has twice as much work to do, so there will be some adjustment. In this case it looks like his left hand can easily hold that ball because neither his arm nor his hand are moving or adjusting for the support change as his right arm goes down.
His body also stops the forward translation from x343 to 345, keep it going.
His right arm stays in the same pose from x346 til x366, his upper body does not change rotation (take x354, with his left arm swinging back, that would pull his shoulder and upper body back as well), upper body with arms moves as one unit around x355, you overextend his left leg from x358 to x364 and his body moves up til x382 or so in a very slow and linear way. I know I sound like a broken record but act it out, study reference, examine each part of the body and think about the effect and relationship between each part as it moves.
Be careful to not have one frame movements like his right arm at x413. Unless it's a shaking, a high frequency tension thing, stuff like that, bigger objects like an arm won't travel big distances from one frame to another. Ants would, but the smaller the object the more believable. You also have quick movements during the kissing-the-audience part (with another overextension at x447).
The end reads more like a shock than being embarrassed, and give the acting some time, don't rush it.

You really need to study reference for movement. I just went to youtube and looked for "bowling", which is pretty broad, so I did a search for "bowling lesson" and got those:

There is good stuff in there and definitely something you need to incorporate in your animation.


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